I've lost my 8 year-old!

So, my youngest child turns eight this week and he is a very tall young man. I just realized as I watched the scale go down again for the first time in about 7 weeks that I have lost the equivalent on my 8 year-old in weight.

I went to see my surgeon last week and he was ready to do an adjustment on the band and I told him that what really needed the adjustment was my brain! So, we held off putting fluid in the band and I have been trying to eat better. One of the amazing things about the lap band is that you can basically eat all the sweets and desserts that you want... and you don't get full. I figured this out over the Halloween candy fest that seems to invade my home every year.

Another freaky side effect of the band is hair loss. If you don't eat enough protein you loose hair. I'm getting a little thin on the top. YEW! So, I've started taking protein shots, which is a 1 oz liquid drink that you can get at Costco that has 25 grams of protein. Hope this helps! But it is all the more motivation to adjust my thinking and to start eating better!

Even though I have reached a plateau on the scale over the last few months, I have dropped an entire pant size. My size 14 jeans are too big and the size 12p fit right, but certainly aren't tight. This has been rewarding. Another "non-scale victory" has been that for the first time in my entire life, I am able to wear tall boots. My legs have always been too large for boots... I am having so much fun wearing them.

I am looking to possibly getting off the plateau that I have been residing on for several months and jumping off the edge!!! It would be fantastic if I could loose some weight during the holiday season, which in my home if filled with lots of goodies. We will see!

Size 12P: Here I come!

So, weight loss has slowed down. But my enthusiasm is still there. I went to my doctor this week and was going to have him put more fill in my band and he suggested that we wait. He was pleased with my weight loss and told me that I have done in six months what it takes most people to do in a year and that is to loose 50% of their excess body weight. YEAH!! He also said looser is better than being too tight. He said that if I am on the tighter side I may eat more "softer proteins" vs "hard proteins". He said that if you fill up on soft cheese, protien drinks instead of meat and hard cheese, that you have a tendancy to eat every 2 hours instead of every 4-5 hours.

I am struggling with my self image. I am having difficulties envisioning myself as smaller than I am at this time. Last week I found some clothes on-line and started to order them in my current size or a little larger.... I took the dive and ordered medium and petite size 12. I was thrilled to put the P12 jeans and and am wearing them today, because they actually fit! Last night I tried the size M dress on. Granted it is stretchy but it fits! I am so looking forward to wearing it.

The scale is starting to move again, but having these non-scale victories are just as rewarding. I am looking forward to the next few months ahead and am determined to loose the majority of my "excess body weight" before my one year anniversary in April, 2010.

I'm half way to my goal!

So, the scale has finally decided to move once again and I am now at the half-way point to my goal. I am also at the point, except for the short time when I was 20 and lost some weight, I do not remember ever being this small as an adult. I currently weigh about 10 pounds more than I did when I graduated from high school 31 years ago.

So, I am now having problems visualizing myself as a thinner person. When I tell people that I still have another 50 pounds to go, most people also have a hard time visualizing me that thin and comment on the fact that I will by very small. Although the charts say that my goal is realistic, as I get closer to my goal I might have to adjust it, if it unattainable or if I just end up looking like a strong wind would blow me over.

So, as my body changes with this weight loss, it will definitely be a "new me". It will be interesting and exciting to watch the process from this point forward.

Fifty Pounds and holding

Well, I discovered that my theory on the acid reflux wasn't right, my band was too tight. A week after my adjustment in August, I ended up going in to have fluid taken out. Once again, I was able to sleep without waking up in the middle of the night feeling like I was drowning. While my band was too tight, I lost 6 pounds in a week. I have tapered off the weight loss, allowing my body to adjust to the drastic drop in weight during that week.

In the meantime, I am enjoying that fact that I am several sizes smaller than I was when I started this journey. Last night, I bought a jacket from Costco that was a "Large" I would have needed a "XX Large" six months ago.

We took our daughter down to California for college and enjoyed a beautiful walk through the Redwood National Forest. It was so nice to be able to stroll down the path and never get winded.

I have also started going back to the gym. Now I hate going to the gym and made it back one day last week. That alone is a victory. I need to start going into the dreaded place several times a week. Finding time for this in my busy schedule is a challenge.

I am posting a picture of me that was taken at my 50 pound weight loss.

50 Pounds -- A Huge Scale Victory!!

Wow, since I last posted on August 19, I have lost 6.8 pounds in 11 days. YES!!!

Last Tuesday I went in to see my surgeon and because I have increased how much I can eat, we decided to add .3 cc to my band. I did talk to him about what I thought was acid reflux which was happening if I ate just before going to bed. On Tuesday, when I got home I decided to groom my poodle puppy and did not eat until 10:30 pm. Normally after an adjustment, you eat soft foods, and what did I do at 10:30 pm? I ate pot roast. I paid for it all night long. Every time, I started to doze off to sleep, I would feel like I was choking on stuff... I then would start coughing and would cough up stuff.... This happened all night! I now have a new rule: Do not eat after 8:30 pm. As long as I follow this rule life is good!

But in the mean time, the scale has moved. As of yesterday morning, I have lost a total of 50 pounds. The equivalent of 50 pounds is:

• A Costco size bag of Russet Potatoes
• 5 -- 10 pound bags of flour
• 200 cubes of butter
• 3 and 1/3 of 5 gallons buckets filled with laundry detergent
• 1.25 bags of wood pellets

Even though my band is a little on the tight side, it feels so good to be loosing this weight. I've decided I like it that way. I read about people who have lost 25 pounds in 6 months and I certainly don't want to be in that position. I figure if I keep in contact with my surgeon and keep the restriction tight that I will get to my goal sooner than later.

Life is good and it feels wonderful not to be lugging around 200 cubes of butter every day!!

It Moved!!

Finally after almost 2 weeks the scale moved. I hadn't blogged lately, because the scale wasn't moving, I've decided that I put way to much stock in the scale. When I weigh the non-scale victories against the scale victory, they far out weigh the scale victory.

Non-Scale Victories --

• We went out to Teatro ZanZinni's and I dressed up in a dress that I purchased several years ago and it looked great. Here is a picture of me from that night



• I am now wearing jeans that are a size 14 instead of a 18Womens!!!



• I saw family that I haven't seen for a year and some of them did not know abut the Lap-band surgery. My nephew, looked at me and said: "Something is different, is it your glasses?" "NO". "Is it your hair?" "No, it just grayer since the last time I saw you. It's 42 pounds!!!" "I knew it was something..." It just felt good to have someone look at me with a shocked look and standing there trying to figure it out.



• I feel so much better.



• I went to the Puget Sound Poodle Club meeting during the first part of July and then again in August. They didn't recognize me. Seeing that they had only met me once, and then again the second time and I had taken off over 10 pounds in the short time, I just didn't look the same.



• My watch is not staying put, because I have lost about 3/4 inch off my wrist and it now hangs loose.



• I am completely off my diabetic, high cholesterol and blood pressure medications. And my morning sugar levels average 100!!!

Scale Victory-- 43.20 Pounds

Even though this is a difficult journey, I have to say I am very glad I did it. Even though I might physically get sick from eating incorrectly, these victories far out weigh the difficult journey.

Welcome to Onederland!

In the lapband world, there is something called "Onederland". This means that you no longer weigh over 200 pounds, but your weight starts with a "one". This is a huge milestone and I have obtained it! Over the weekend, the scale dropped quickly from 203 to 197! What a since of accomplishment.

Another feeling of accomplishment, is that I bought a pair of jeans yesterday that is more than two sizes smaller than my "fat" jeans. I use to wear a 18W size jean and the new pair was 14 - short. YES!

I am feeling great. Meals are going better and I have gotten better about chewing. Occasionally I will eat something that irritates the lapband and it will be very tight for a couple days. But it will eventually relax and I am back on track.

My journey to a new me is in full swing and reaching this milestone is a wonderful feeling of accomplishment.

I've lost a bag of dog food!

So, as I was carrying in a 30 pound bag of dog food in the house the other day, it hit me that I am no longer carrying that much weight on my body. Think about it, I have now lost 34 pounds that equates to 136 cubes of butter. Thinking about the loosing weight in terms like this is very gratifying.

Last Friday, I went shopping for undergarments. I was surprised that when you are not in the largest size that Macy carries, you have so many more options. That alone was exciting, but then I purchased an undergarment, that was 4 inches smaller than my last one!!!

Then to further feed my ego... I went to a family birthday party last night and members of the family were there that I haven't seen for a couple of months. They were amazed at the transformation.

I saw my surgeon yesterday and he is also pleased with my progress. We elected to leave the fluid alone in the band.

So, I think it is obvious that I am excited about my weight loss. This journey has been amazing and is so exciting. Today I'm wearing pants that I have not worn in probably 10 years and then when I wore them 10 years ago they were too tight and uncomfortable. They fit perfectly now.

I feel great and am enjoying this journey to a new me!

A weekend at the Cabin.... Why is it about food?

So, we left for the cabin on Wednesday night after work. We had a great time, but I never realized that going to the cabin was about eating. Our last stop before getting to the cabin was at the grocery store. As we walked through the store, we kept putting all this food in our cart. Trying to figure out what we wanted for meals. We are talking sausage, eggs and pancakes for breakfast and huge dinners with lots of snacking in between.

So, I basically spent 4 days at the cabin cooking meals for the family, both immediate and extended. I ate a few bites of each of the meals, plus a little grazing in between meals. I did loose 2 pounds over the weekend. Here is a picture of me with my new standard poodle puppy, Roxanne. I am 30 pounds down in the picture!

I still think my band is too tight, if I don't chew well enough, or over eat or drink too fast, it come right back up at me. I go in next week and if things are not better by then, I think I will have him take out about .2 cc's of fluid.

Over all I am feeling good, I put on a pair of jeans yesterday, and could not believe how baggy they were. YES!!! I need to go through my closet and start weeding out the clothes that are too big.

What an exciting week!!

So, it has been 10 days since my fill and I have lost 10 pounds in those 10 days. I am full and if I cheat, it is just a 5 cherries, instead of a whole bowl of cherries or 5 chips instead of half the bag. I am eating between a 1/2 to a cup of food at each meal and am averaging 3 to 4 meals a day.

I have less blocked pain, and more fillings of fullness than I did prior to this last adjustment. I think it is because I am finally figuring out that I have to slow down and chew my food.

I can't expect to continue to loose a pound a day, but I will take it while it last!!! Clothes are hanging on me, and I have gone into my closet to pull out some clothes that I haven't worn is several years. YEAH!!!

Yes!!! Finally I have restriction!!

So, Friday's appointment was a success. I am so excited and the weight has started to fall off! One real answer to prayers, is that once I reach the proper restriction, food getting blocked is not such a problem. I have had less painful blocks now and I get full after less than a cup of food.

Friday morning, I was at 219 pounds, this morning I was just under 215 pounds. After 3 weeks of basically no weight loss it is rewarding to see the scale go down each time I get on it. I once again have the feeling that I will never see these number again on the scale.

Tonight is another lapband support meeting and I am looking forward to going. It is helpful to talk and meet with other people that are on the same journey.

I'm frustrated and headed back for another fill!

So, it's been 1 1/2 weeks since my last fill and about 3 weeks since I've seen a weight loss on the scale. I'm actually amazed that I don't have a weight loss. I eat about 1/2 of what I use to eat, with no bread, sugars and starches and am walking 30 minutes everyday and I still don't see a change on the scales. This tells me that no matter what I would have done, without the lapband, I most likely would not loose weight.

After my last fill, it was easier to get what is referred to as PB (productive burp) or also referred to as "stuck". This feeling is very painful and feels like you are having a hear attack. I have been able to avoid this problem now for several days. I'm learning the trick is to avoid certain foods, eat small bites and chew, chew, chew.

So, since I'm eating more than my allotted 1/2 to 3/4 cup of food each meal and it only last for about 2-3 hours, I'm going back to the doctor tomorrow for another fill. Hopefully this will be the magic amount. From what I've heard, once you get the right restriction, things work much better. I'm looking forward to this day!

Even with the small amount of weight loss, that I've had I do notice changes. It is easier for me to walk every night, my pants need a belt or they fall down, and I needed new tops in a smaller size.

I went in for my second fill!

So, I had noticed that I was still eating over 2 cups of food at a time so I called and went back in for another fill. I met with my doctor's assistant who said that I did the right thing by coming right back for another fill. She put in another cc. I will try this out for another day or so, and then determine if it is enough.

She also said that food getting caught will become more of a problem as the hole gets smaller and smaller. The secret is chewing your food.... I'm not sure why this is so difficult, but I thought I had it mastered, but I probably get "stuck" at least once a day if not more... The first bite is the worse, because you are hungry and want to start stuffing food in. Chew, Chew Chew.... I guess that is the secret.

I haven't lost any more weight, but maybe with this new adjustment, I will see a change.

My first fill -- is it enough?

So, yesterday I went in to see Dr. Clinch and get my first injection of saline in my band. He put in 1cc. Last night I went home and at Fritos and bean dip, and then ate a dinner... So, I'm worried that the fill wasn't enough. If I'm still eating more than I think I should, I will have to call and go in for another adjustment. The actual adjustment didn't hurt at all, the worse part is when he injected the numbing agent into the area. So, will see what happens in the next day and if I don't feel any volume restriction, I will have another fill.

Real Food Taste Soooo Good.... Maybe Too Good

So, last week I went to my first Lapband support group meeting. It was very interesting. I asked two questions... 1. How do you know when you are blocked... Answer: You'll know, you get this feeling like you are having a heart attack. 2. How do you know when you are full. Answer: You will know.

So, a couple days later, I was able to start eating real food again. I don't have any restriction so volume is pretty much not an issue. Because I can eat way too much, I have to be careful not to gain my weight back. I have had the blocked sensation several time... so now I know what it feels like. It is very painful and not pleasant at all. I get it if I eat too fast, don't chew enough or eat white bread. We had pancakes over the weekend.... not good. I have been able to avoid the blocked problem now for several days... YEAH!

My weight loss has slowed down because I am eating food again, but happy to say I lost 1 pound this week. So, my total weight loss is 19 pounds, 10 pre-op and 9 post-op. I am starting to have difficulties with my clothes fitting properly. low cut tops, are now way too low, and my jeans keep falling down. What a great problem to have!!

I am looking forward to next week when I get my first fill.

Real food is coming!

So, eating mushy baby food consistency food is getting pretty boring. Sometimes I fudge but for the most part I seem to do okay. I can tell if I eat something that is dense that I get full much faster than eating something liquidy in texture. I don't really seem to get hungry and I do fill up faster than before. I think I must eat about 1/4 to 1/2 of what I would normally eat.

Everyday, I see a part of a pound come off and am now at 18 total weight loss. The exciting thing is that I am digging into my closet for smaller clothes! I was sitting on a wood bench the other day and realized that I could feel the bones on my backside. I forgot they were there.

Tonight I will go to my first lapband support meeting. I'm excited to go and to talk with other people about their experiences.

19 Days Post-op

So, it's been 19 days since my surgery, and I getting tired of mushy food. Getting a variety into my diet is very hard right now. But I'm doing it. I can't wait til May 20 when I can start eating normal food again.

I go into the surgeon for my first fill on June 2. This is when I will be restricted on the volume of food and the actual weight loss process gains momentum. At this time, I've lost 6 pounds since surgery. The exciting thing about it is, that I will never see the total of 16 pounds that I've lost since April 2. That means it is gone forever!!!

Almost 2 weeks post surgery!

Well, I have been eating "soft/mushy" foods now for over a week. It is very boring and hard to find high protein foods that have the correct consistency. But I'm doing it. Another challenge is that I haven't been motivated to cook... My poor family has been left high and dry when it comes to dinner. I need to get back in the habit of making dinner!!

Every morning, when I get on the scale I'm down a fraction of a pound. That in itself is exciting. What is really thrilling to me is that I will never see that fraction of a pound come back on!!

One day at a time and one pound at a time. The journey is slow, but steady.

My Post-Op appointment went well!

So, yesterday I saw the surgeon for my post-op appointment. He was happy with my progress. He even said that I could move onto soft-mushy foods now. So, in my excitement of being able to change my diet, last night I had blenderized macaroni and cheese.... I think it wasn't the right consistency... maybe too thick.... it sat on my stomach like a boulder all night.... So, I have decided to continue with the liquid diet for a couple more days.

I have more energy each day and am feeling less sore too.

Five Days Post-Op

So, it's been 5 days since my surgery and I am healing well. I went into the office yesterday morning briefly and wasn't feeling well, and had my husband drive me home. But I'm back today. I will most likely work a 1/2 day today, I need to do payroll....

Every day I'm less sore than the previous day, and I have gone without prescription pain meds now for over 32 hours. They were making me very drowsy, I slept all day yesterday, I'm sure it was from the build-up of the medications in my system that was making me not feel well. Now, occasionally I can feel pressure in my upper body and the tummy area is tender. Plus I'm pretty much back to my pre-op surgery weight.

As far as my diet right now, protein drinks are pretty boring. I need to search the soup aisle for some soups to expand my diet. I am 3 days into this part of the diet with 11 more days to go...

I did it!!!

So, yesterday I reported to Evergreen Hospital at 10:45 and my surgery was at 12:15. The doctor was in and out in 1 hour and 10 minutes. So, it went very smoothly. I have a huge bruise on my thigh from a shot that they gave me and I have 5 incisions in my tummy. As always, the day after surgery, is worse than the day of surgery. All those wonderful drugs hat they give you have worn off and you are stuck with prescription pain killers. I woke up last night after 4 hours of pain killers for more, so they must be doing their job.

I am on clear liquids for now and on Sunday I can move to protein drinks. I'm getting a little tired of juice and sugar-free Jello, so I am actually looking forward to the next step.

Today, my oldest son called to talk to me, and he said that all of a sudden it dawned on him that he was going to have a skinny mom, for the first time in his life. I am excited about this change in my life and the life's of my family.

The "Before" Pictures

So, last night I had my son take a couple pictures of me, to help me document the changes that I am going to have in my life. I absolutely hate having my picture taken, but I figure "why not" the next pictures can only be better. :0)

Tomorrow is the big day, I didn't sleep well last night. I think it was because I kept thinking about stuff that needs to be done before I am laid-up for a few days. I am actually in the office before 6:30 this morning. This is unheard of... I am not a morning person and have always tried to make my working hours to be later in the morning. But I have a full day ahead of me, between getting my desk ready for my absence, going to the surgeon's office for one more weigh in and a visit to the dentist to have my new crown put in.

Two days and counting!!

I am still struggling trying to get the 10 pounds off that I need to take off before my surgery. If you go by my scale at home and by my top weight I have taken 11 pounds off... but my doctor's scale and starting weight is a different story. I was going to go weigh in this morning at his office, but the freeway was a mess and the nurse and I decided to go ahead and do it tomorrow... I have resorted to protein drinks. I think yesterday I consumed 400 calories all day, maybe if I do that again today, I will be down a couple more pounds tomorrow for the last visit with the scale before surgery.

Seeing that in the last 20 days, I have eaten one 1 slice of bread, 1 scoop of sugar-free ice cream, a little bit of fruit on a salad, and a couple bites of cranberry sauce with my turkey, I am starting to look at food in a whole new way. I want foods that are bad for me, but at the same time I have learned to say NO.... That is a major accomplishment.

I'm getting closer to the crest of the hill where I will be starting this new journey!!!!

I'm getting to the top of the hill!

So, on Wednesday I had my pre-op appointment for my surgery. The most frustrating thing is, that I must have been down a few pounds when I weighed at Dr. Clinch's office last time. I need to loose 10 pounds from that weight, not at my high weight... and then on Wednesday, I must have been retaining water, so I was up a couple of pounds from what I had been earlier. So, on Dr. Clinch's scale there was no weight loss!!!! I was down again, this morning YEAH!!! but now I need to loose more before Thursday.

I also paid Dr. Clinch when I was in on Wednesday... So, now I've paid for half the surgery and will call the hospital on Monday to pay the rest. Surprisingly enough I've been sleeping well with the C-PAP machine and see the sleep study doctor on Monday. So, many appointments, plus I have to get my desk caught up before I leave here at work!

I have 6 more days until I go in to have this done! I am counting the days... I just need to take off a few more pounds!

I'm making progress

So, on Friday, I picked up my C-PAP machine. It really isn't has bad as I thought it would be. I watched my husband struggle with it for weeks before he got use to it. But I slept through the night the first night. New technology is nice, my new machine is very quiet and has a memory card that my doctor can look at to see what my usage is like.

I have an appointment with the surgeons office on Wednesday for my Pre-Op appointment. As of this morning I have lost 8 pounds on the pre-op diet. So, as long as Dr. Clinch is okay with me using the C-PAP for 13 days instead of 14 days at the date of surgery, everything looks good for April 23.

I have started gathering up the protein mixes/drinks that I will need after surgery. I stopped in at one store that the nutritionist recommenced, and they didn't carry the high protein pudding that was recommended. Oh well...

So, I am excited as things start to fall into place. Sometimes, you wonder if you are pushing life changing events through even though God might not have His hand in it. Now, as I see the pieces of the puzzle fall into place, I am having even more peace about this decision.

2nd Sleep Study was a Nightmare, but I have a surgery date!

During the last several weeks, my sleep study doctor has been playing with my restless leg medications. He has reduced the amount of Requip that I am taking and increased another drug. The symptoms have been increasing with this change in my meds. So, in the middle of the night I had a HUGE attack of pain that went from 1:00 am through 6:00 am. I could not sleep and I could not get my legs to stop hurting, along with my arms. So, not only did I have this major pain problems going on, with my legs and arms jerking all over the place. I had over 20 wires attached to my body and a mask on my nose. I was completely, distressed and the technician seemed to think my problem was the anxiety attacks because of the mask. It had nothing to do with the mask, although I am sure that it contributed.

I talked with the doctor yesterday and he thinks he has enough data to write the prescription and I should be on target for my surgical date of April 23. He also decided to stop playing with my meds and last night I took my full dosage of Requip and slept all night long. YEAH! Plus he just called this morning and he has written the prescription and is faxing it to the medical equipment company right now!

So, YES I do have a surgery date! I am shooting for April 23 as long as I can tolerate the CPAP machine I am a go for surgery. I am so excited. I have never been below a size 14 in my entire adult life. I am looking forward to being active and not carrying around an extra 100 pounds. I am looking forward to being able to put my socks on and not be in discomfort. I am looking forward to being able to find clothes in any store, except the fat person store. I am looking forward to buying shoes that are cute and not just great support for my feet that support too much weight.

Of course it is scary that food will no longer be consumed at the rate that it has been, but hey it is worth the price. The pre-op diet is going well. I have not had awful cravings and I have a goal in mind.

Things are falling into place!

So, I called my sleep study doctor's office to let them know what company I would use for my C-PAP machine. I also verified that I was on the waiting list for an earlier sleep study and she had one available for tomorrow night! This is perfect!

I then called my surgeon's office to schedule my pre-op appointment. I am schedule for April 15 at which time, I will be able to set my surgical appointment. I am so excited! Last week I was discouraged, but God provided this opening for me and it looks like I will make my surgical goal of having the band in before the end of the month!

Plus, I thought the pre-op diet would be really really bad, and I have done real good on it. I have had no cravings and have not cheated. So, that means I have not had any starches or sugars in my diet since Wednesday night! WOW!! and I have lost 5 pounds.

Looks like I have to take a detour!

My first sleep study said that I had mild sleep apnea and I just confirmed with my surgeon that I have to be treated for the sleep apnea prior to surgery. So, that means I have to have a second sleep study. I have schedule this for Monday, April 20, but asked to be put on a waiting list if someone cancels. Hopefully someone will and I can get this part underway sooner than later.

After the sleep study, I have to be treated with a C-PAP machine for 2 weeks before my surgeon will do the surgery.

Another task that has to be done before the surgery is that I have to loose 10-15 pounds before surgery. UGGG... isn't that why I'm having the surgery? But apparently, our livers get "fatty" and a liver that is too large is difficult to navigate around, so you have to shrink it before the surgery. Yesterday, I started my pre-op diet. My surgeon suggested that I use the South Beach Diet. The first phase of the South Beach diet is pretty simple. I eat protein and veggies, no flour, corn, rice, fruit or other sugars. So now, we will see how successful I am.

On top of this, it appears that the hospital is going to raise their fees. I have to get everything scheduled and a quote from the hospital prior to the end of this month. If not, the fee will go up. I guess as it is, most hospital fees are over $16,000 but each patient pays $8,500. Hopefully I can get this all put together before the fees go up.

Just another step to a new skinny me!

Looks like I'm not crazy after all

So, upon returning from a week vacation in Austin, Texas, where I might add the food is wonderful, I received my test results from the sleep apnea. It said that I had mild sleep apnea and I needed a C-PAP machine. I have a call into my surgeon to see is he needs me to pursue this process or if he will do the surgery without the mild sleep apnea being treated. Seems silly to me that I need to go through the expense and time consuming process of getting a C-PAP machine just to loose weight and not to need it.

On Tuesday, I met with a Nurse Practitioner that specializes in psychology and counseling. We talked for 2 hours. She indicated to me that there is no reason that I wouldn't be successful with this endeavor that I am a sane and stable person. YEAH! I did enjoy my discussion with her, because she was banded 3 years ago and has talked to a lot of people about their journey in loosing weight through the lapband process. We talked about things like what it felt like to be blocked. This is what happens when you eat something too large or not right and it sits in the opening of your tummy. She said once this happens to you, you avoid the food that made it happen. It is not a good feeling. She has lost 127 pounds and still had about 50 to go.

One more step towards setting a date for my banding. I just need my doctor to tell me whether or not we need to take a detour for this sleep apnea thing.

People watching me sleep -- Creeps me out!

So, Wednesday night I took my first sleep study and hopefully my last! It was an interesting experience, but just the thought of someone watching me sleep creeps me out. It even bugs me when Dozer, our huge dog, stares at me while I'm sleeping.

First of all, they tell you to arrive at 7:00, I'm thinking, "Why?" I spent three hours in a room with a bed and a little 12 inch TV waiting to be hooked up for this study. Fortunately, I brought my knitting to keep me occupied. At 10:00, the tech comes into the room and starts attaching 18 wires to my body and scalp. I think 14 of these where attached to my head and face. She puts this goo stuff all in my hair to attach these leads. YUCK! Then she puts all this stuff in my nose and mouth to magnify the sound of my snoring. Now isn't that a pleasant thought, let's make the snoring loader....

So, after this, I'm suppose to sleep, on my back. I normally sleep on my tummy and side. So, I take this sleeping pill to help me sleep. Because sleeping on my own would be impossible. I have all they gadgets attached to my body, someone is watching me, and I'm suppose to sleep on my back and an extremely uncomfortable bed. Fortunately the pill works... only to well.. Once I got up and going, I realized that I had thus HUGE hang over feeling. When I got into the office, I was slurring my words and God must have sent a special angel to make sure I and everyone around me was safe in my travels of going home, showering, taking Theo to the bus and going to work.

I will find out next week, the results of the sleep study. Hopefully sleep apnea was negative and I can continue my quest for my surgery without any further detours.

So, do I really stop breathing while I sleep?

So, as one of the prerequist to getting my lapband surgery I have to have a sleep study. I met with the doctor yeasterday. One good thing, is that this doctor actually understands and treats Restless Leg Syndrome. So, I am hoping that he can help me to have a normal life when it comes to the pain in my legs that haunts me in the evenings and before I go to sleep.

He wants to me to do the sleep study, because it is possible that I have sleep apnea. I sure hope I don't.... because this will delay when I can get my surgery done. I go in for the sleep study on the 18, then it takes a week for the results. Then I would have to go in for another sleep study, then I would have to use the C-PAP machine for several weeks before I could have the surgery. Only to loose weight and not have to have the C-PAP machine. Seems like a vicious circle to me. Oh well. We will see.

I see the nutritionist tomorrow and the psychologist on March 31. Hopefully she doesn't say I'm crazy and can't have the surgery. :)

I'm praying that the sleep study is negative, so that I don't have to take this detour in my journey.

My Consultation Appointment

My husband and I went to see Dr. Clinch this morning. We discussed my options and he went over the pros and cons of the lapband surgery. He said that he recommended that I have a sleep study done to rule out any sleep apnea plus I will need to meet with a nutritionist and a psychologist. When I got back into the office, I was able to make all my appointments for the next two weeks. My appointment with the sleep specialist is only a consultation. So, I'm not sure how soon I can get the actual study done.

One of the things Dr. Clinch emphasised is that the lapband is a tool. Diet and exercise is still necessary. I believe that with this tool, I will be successful. The problem in the past is that I would loose a bit of weight only to get discouraged, because it stopped coming off and then I would stop trying, because I was discouraged and then the vicious cycle would start all over again. I would gain back the lost weight plus some, diet again, get discouraged, stop dieting gain back the weight and so on and so on.

I am excited about the prospect of breaking this cycle!

My mental battle with food!

I will have my first visit with the surgeon in about a week. I'm finding that I am having a little mental battle with myself. I keep thinking to myself: "in a little bit, I won't be able to eat this food, or as much of it... Better enjoy it while I can." With this mentality, if I'm not careful I will end up weighing 500 pounds before I get into the surgical room. I am getting better about shutting this part of my brain off. But it is tough.

A couple weeks ago, I visited my general practitioner and told her about my decision. She said that she thought it was the best decision for me and if she was in my position she also would be lined up for weight loss surgery. Yesterday, I received the blood work results from that appointment. I was shocked to see my A1C at 6.1 and all my cholesterol and other blood work was right where it should be. I keep asking myself how is that possible? I am one of the worst diabetics out there. There are days that I will binge on sugar and bad stuff... I guess God is watching out for me. After the surgery, these blood results will only get better... YEAH!

My First Step

One of the first things I had to do was choose a doctor to do my surgery. I had met one doctor last year and my husband and I met another one a couple weeks ago at the free seminars held at Evergreen Hospital.

• The first doctor does nothing but bariatric surgeries and has done over 700 lapband procedures. He is very high energy and must preform 10-15 procedures every week. He has an excellent record of little to no complications. One financial concern was although his fees were less, all follow-up visits for the lapband adjustments were on top of his operation fee.


• The second doctor does both bariatric surgeries plus other adnominal surgeries. He was very laid-back and soft spoken. He has preformed about 400 lapband procedures with also little to no complications and he includes all follow-up lapband adjustments with his surgical fee.

I decided on the second surgeon and made an appointment. I have to say that I made this decision for two reasons. One, I liked the laid-back personality of the second doctor, plus I was worried that if I had to pay extra for follow-up appointments, that I would hesitate to go in and get maintenance fills as needed. I go in for my first appointment on March 6 and meet with him. This is right on target for my schedule of having the operation done in April.

I am excited to start this journey and to finally take off this extra weight once and for all. I am tired of loosing the same 15 pounds over and over again.

Coming to terms with my weight

All my life the scale has always said that I am overweight. My self image is that I'm really not overweight, until I look at a picture or an image of myself in a mirror. Then I say "oops, I've put on a few extra" or "Maybe that is one of those mirros that make you look fat". Last year I reached a new high. I attended a weight loss surgery seminar and was contemplating this surgery, but was looking at a road block when it came to insurance paying for the surgery or coming up with the $15,000 to pay for it myself.

So, last May, I went to the doctor and asked her what to do... "Diet and Exercise" was the answer. I remember sitting in the car and calling my husband crying hysterically. I felt doomed, every diet that I had tried has failed, attempts at exercise also has failed. He hired a personal trainer at the local gym, now a almost a year later I still weigh what I did a year before. I would "diet and exercise" and loose a few pounds, only to get discouraged and put them back on.

My BMI is 43 and I have Type 2 Diabetes. I am a 49 years old mom with a 7 year old to enjoy into my senior years. I can't do this if my weight keeps creeping up.

Last week, my husband and I both attended another weight loss surgery seminar. I wanted him to be informed as to our options and what would work for me. We have decided that we would "scrounge" up the funds and I would this leap to a new life.

This is the beginning of a journey to a new me!