My mental battle with food!

I will have my first visit with the surgeon in about a week. I'm finding that I am having a little mental battle with myself. I keep thinking to myself: "in a little bit, I won't be able to eat this food, or as much of it... Better enjoy it while I can." With this mentality, if I'm not careful I will end up weighing 500 pounds before I get into the surgical room. I am getting better about shutting this part of my brain off. But it is tough.

A couple weeks ago, I visited my general practitioner and told her about my decision. She said that she thought it was the best decision for me and if she was in my position she also would be lined up for weight loss surgery. Yesterday, I received the blood work results from that appointment. I was shocked to see my A1C at 6.1 and all my cholesterol and other blood work was right where it should be. I keep asking myself how is that possible? I am one of the worst diabetics out there. There are days that I will binge on sugar and bad stuff... I guess God is watching out for me. After the surgery, these blood results will only get better... YEAH!

My First Step

One of the first things I had to do was choose a doctor to do my surgery. I had met one doctor last year and my husband and I met another one a couple weeks ago at the free seminars held at Evergreen Hospital.

• The first doctor does nothing but bariatric surgeries and has done over 700 lapband procedures. He is very high energy and must preform 10-15 procedures every week. He has an excellent record of little to no complications. One financial concern was although his fees were less, all follow-up visits for the lapband adjustments were on top of his operation fee.


• The second doctor does both bariatric surgeries plus other adnominal surgeries. He was very laid-back and soft spoken. He has preformed about 400 lapband procedures with also little to no complications and he includes all follow-up lapband adjustments with his surgical fee.

I decided on the second surgeon and made an appointment. I have to say that I made this decision for two reasons. One, I liked the laid-back personality of the second doctor, plus I was worried that if I had to pay extra for follow-up appointments, that I would hesitate to go in and get maintenance fills as needed. I go in for my first appointment on March 6 and meet with him. This is right on target for my schedule of having the operation done in April.

I am excited to start this journey and to finally take off this extra weight once and for all. I am tired of loosing the same 15 pounds over and over again.

Coming to terms with my weight

All my life the scale has always said that I am overweight. My self image is that I'm really not overweight, until I look at a picture or an image of myself in a mirror. Then I say "oops, I've put on a few extra" or "Maybe that is one of those mirros that make you look fat". Last year I reached a new high. I attended a weight loss surgery seminar and was contemplating this surgery, but was looking at a road block when it came to insurance paying for the surgery or coming up with the $15,000 to pay for it myself.

So, last May, I went to the doctor and asked her what to do... "Diet and Exercise" was the answer. I remember sitting in the car and calling my husband crying hysterically. I felt doomed, every diet that I had tried has failed, attempts at exercise also has failed. He hired a personal trainer at the local gym, now a almost a year later I still weigh what I did a year before. I would "diet and exercise" and loose a few pounds, only to get discouraged and put them back on.

My BMI is 43 and I have Type 2 Diabetes. I am a 49 years old mom with a 7 year old to enjoy into my senior years. I can't do this if my weight keeps creeping up.

Last week, my husband and I both attended another weight loss surgery seminar. I wanted him to be informed as to our options and what would work for me. We have decided that we would "scrounge" up the funds and I would this leap to a new life.

This is the beginning of a journey to a new me!